Hello out there in Longhorn land!

We just wanted to post something quick to let everyone know we didn’t faint or die from exhaustion at an Obama rally. (Although we did have minor freakouts from the Cowboys poor performance in the playoffs - AGAIN.) We here at the Horn are alive and well; we’re just BIG slackers.

Given that neither Txhny nor I are big basketball fans (don’t get us wrong, we enjoy watching the Horns, but neither of us feel we know enough to put any sort of commentary online), we haven’t posted much over the past few months.

This will mainly be a football blog come late summer/early fall, but we’re hoping to post some baseball content every once in a while now that the season is here.

Thanks for those of you who have commented and emailed saying you miss us!

Hook’em!

TheMaskedWino & Txhny

And for those of you who have yet to vote: Freedom is popular again.

Well, there you have it Longhorn fans. The Holiday Bowl. Hooray. The BCS bowl selections bring their usual expected, “Wha??? Um…okay. Whatever. I’ll watch it. But I don’t care who wins. At all.”

I’m actually pretty satisfied with Arizona State - I could think of much worse match ups. Should be a good game.

Onward…

Longhorn basketball. Wow - looks like we can expect big things from the men in orange this year. In case you missed it….

I know the big question on many Longhorn fans’ minds preseason: “Who will step up in the vacuum of Kevin Durant?” (You remember KD, right? Good.) The answer: Everyone.

It is no secret that football is my obsession and that I don’t know nearly as much about basketball. However, this Longhorn is delightfully excited about our basketball team this year.

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.

Still not interested in basketball? Well… I certainly missed this until my friend TB at Bring on The Cats mentioned it. Wow. I have nothing else to say. Wow.

Bruins are easier prey than quail … or lawyers.

GIVEN FACTS:

Thanksgiving Holiday —> Must See Family
Must See Family —> Crowded Airports
Crowded Airports —> Lots of germs
Lots of germs —> Very sick
Must See Family —> Must go to Podunk, Texas
Podunk, Texas —> No internet access
Must See Family —> Verge of Insanity
Texas Wins —> Happiness
Texas Loses —> Sadness
Texas Loses to Texas A&M —> Complete Despair
Must See Family —> Must Take Off From Work
Must Take Off From Work —> Very Behind At Work

Very Sick + No Internet Access + Verge of Insanity + No Happines + Sadness  + Complete Dispair + Very Behind at Work = Total Blog Neglect.

Promise: back on track this week. In the meantime, enjoy the following and — I think we can all agree with dahorns: Go Longhorn Basketball!!

Aggie Pwned:

Giving Him The Business (HT: RonB)

Adult Swim BCS Commentary (HT: Kevo)
Boston Can Suck it!

In preparation for the Cowboys/Green Bay game… an oldie from one of our favorite blogs: Kissing Suzy Kolber.

In an entirely unsatisfactory week of football, from the Texas defense imitating empty space, to Vince’s Titans imitating a high school team, to Cedric Benson breaking his leg (conjecture, but season ending surgery nonetheless), the one thing that kept my morale high was DJ and company running circles around #7 Tennessee on the hardwood.

I have never seen a Rick Barnes offense execute the way I saw against Tennessee. There have been some glimpses earlier this year, but nothing on the level that happened Saturday night. AJ is going to terrorize teams this year with his quick shot. The big surprise is Connor dominating. He looks a lot stronger and more coordinated this year. He is also apparently faster, as evidenced by his several fast break dunks and layups already this year.

Kudos to you Barnes, you saved my life.

“When it’s with me, you only need two minutes, girl”

We’re thankful for…

Reese Witherspoon. Beautiful, successful, and a wonderful actress. My personal fave is Election.

And another actor with a beautiful voice…

Ewan McGregor. Great actor who does great movies. I’m such a sucker for a man with a beautiful voice.

We here at the Horn are a big fan of pale ones (please observe our boyfriends as Exhibits A and B), so when I made a trip to Minneapolis/St. Paul this past weekend to visit a good friend (and great host!), I had to try Summit Brewery’s Extra Pale Ale.

Extra pale? We’re in heaven.

A local favorite in the Twin Cities, it’s brewed in St. Paul and is available pretty much everywhere up there on tap or in bottles. The Summit EPA has a rich hoppy flavor and has a nice smooth finish with sweet and fruity undertones. If it’s available where you are, definitely pick some up. Summit’s also got the Winter Ale out, and I have it on good authority that it’s pretty good. I would have tried it myself, but I was awfully full on margaritas (Apparently my margarita-making skills were the only reason I was invited to Minnesota in the first place.) You can check out the specs on the extra pale ale and Summit’s other brews at Summit Brewing.

I give the Summit Extra Pale Ale a solid 4.1/5.0.

Cheers!

As Ron pointed out, I sort of fell off the wagon. I am very glad I am a Longhorn, just a busy Longhorn.
In an effort to makeup for missed time over the weekend, I offer the following collection:

LONGHORN LOVE

Beautiful Campus… Great Fans…

AND AGGIE LOATHING

12th Man Entertainment @ TexAgs

Ice Cream Men… Ironic Merchandise…

And to top it all off, I’ll request a little help from you. Yes, yes, it is a caption contest. I’ll get you started. Prize to be determined by your location.

“Why can’t you be more like Jamaal Charles?”

Editor’s Note: This week we welcome back an old friend now under the name Burnt Orange Hulk. BOH graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in advertising. He is currently making the world a better place. What the f*** are you doing?

As we approach the last week of the regular season, enjoy his breakdown of #2 Kansas and join us in hoping to see more insightful, if angry, commentary from one of our favorite Texas Exes.
–txhny

The Kansas football team makes the grade on the field the same way every great football team does in the classroom - with a high school caliber schedule. Taking a look at the teams Kansas steamrolled on its way to the top, you’ll find 75 losses. Multiply that by 1 Div - IAA, 2 MAC’s and a Sun Belt and you have a recipe for hype. Kansas must have hired a great resume writer because they are essentially a community college GPA padder being considered for an executive position. We’ll see if they can write a decent cover letter on Saturday against Missouri. If it’s impressive, they’ll get the final interview against the leader of the Big XII South. Assuming Kansas can sweet talk its way into the corner office, an Ivy League graduate will be waiting to show off the fruits of an expensive education… in his own backyard. Don’t expect this one to end like Pursuit of Happiness. The Rubik’s Cube might be difficult, but it doesn’t hit back.

Giving credit where credit is due - Mangino is a fantastic coach. He orchestrated an Oklahoma offense in 2000 that made a statement against Texas and went on to crush everything in its path. At the time, coaches snubbed Quentin Griffin before he strolled through the Texas D-line on his way to a game winning touchdown against Florida State for the National Title. This year the Big XII passed on another Texas player under Mangino’s enormous belt, who’s been passing on them ever since. As a resident of the Lake Travis area, my family enjoyed watching Reesing throw in high school. He’s a stellar athlete who learned from an incredible coach. Scouts - take notes from Mangino because the best from Lake Travis has yet to come. While Kansas’s schedule is weaker than Mangino’s metabolism, he sweats out every ounce of performance his players have to offer and that’s the sign of a great coach.

The “Opponents”

Florida International - Well, they’re perfect at losing coming in at 10 and counting, allowing 395 points. Don’t give up yet, Kansas is just getting started.

Central Michigan - A more respectable record with 5 losses, but wins only over teams with roughly 8 losses. I wouldn’t go reaching for the Gatorade cooler.

SE Louisiana - Stumbling to 8 losses, barely beating a winless S F Austin, and allowing 45 points against 7 loss Div I-A Texas State.

Toledo - They carry 6 losses and have allowed 433 points to date.

Kansas State - A squeaker win for KU against a 6 loss team that lost to the worst of the Big XII. Yes, they beat Texas in a freak show of Texas turnovers and return fiesta, but accomplished nothing more. Not to mention they allowed the train-wreck that is Nebraska to put up 73 points.

Baylor- 9 losses, allowed 444 points, Coach fired. We really don’t need to get more in depth than that.

Colorado - Another squeaker against a 6 loss team with its only legit win coming over OU. And OU sucks! (Ahem… TECH.)

aTm - 5 losses with wins over a pathetic schedule of certified losers who scrape the bottom of the barrel for opponents. Coach soon to be fired.

Nebraska - Don’t even call this experiment by the name Nebraska. Nebraska is a team I love to fear and share a cold one with. This thing I call Nebifornia has 6 losses and no resemblance of Nebraska football. Luckily for Callahan, the fans in that stadium are too classy to boo him off the field every week. The 76 points Kansas put up was impressive, but Nebifornia seems to have abandoned the concept of defense. Coach soon to be fired.

Oklahoma State - Maybe the only quality win for the Jayhawks all season. A team with the most respectable, 5 loss, schedule. OSU is an inconsistent team with scattered talent that has a historical inability to finish games versus anyone besides OU (and they’re going to beat OU)! Coach Gundy, I don’t give a damn how old you are. I’m 26, and I’m talking shit about your team!

Iowa State - What can we say about this 9 loss Baylor of the Big XII North? Well, they opened the season by falling to 8 loss Kent State. Even the Texas offense, in its struggle to establish a post-Vince game plan, kicked this team around like a rusty can in the gutter.

Missouri - Consistent offense and highly capable defense. They stifled high flying Tech, and kept it interesting against a healthy OU. If Kansas can take down the Tigers, not to mention convincingly, I will be impressed. This is definitely the match up I didn’t expect to stay awake through.

The Key Question: Is Kansas a vastly improved football team emerging from the shadow of the basketball stadium, which deserves kudos from a conference full of teams that haven’t pulled their own weight in recent years? YES. Is Kansas the number 2 team in the nation? NO.

Alright, alright. I’ll relent… temporarily. My oldest friend in the world is an Aggie, I have an Aggie family member and many, many friends and colleagues from Texas A&M. As Thanksgiving is one week away (celebrating today at the firm), I’ll put it on the record - I’m thankful for Aggies.

I look forward to the Friday game each year and it is in fact, now tightly associated with my family holiday traditions. Furthermore, I’m glad we have a rivalry with a gang that relates to so many things we adore here at Texas: southern hospitality, tradition (in whatever way you define it), football, discipline, world class institutions of higher learning and  a (perhaps slightly unhealthy) love for the greatest state in the land.

Aggies, deep down I know you feel the same way.

Tomorrow, we’ll do a defensive rundown on our Lonestar rivals, and the ridicule will resume.